Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Let's get the cat blown out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
