Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
