If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
