break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need help removing her.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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