I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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