I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
