Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
