Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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