this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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