I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
