he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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