I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
