im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
