Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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