this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
