I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
did i just pee glitter
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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