I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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