I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
