we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
