life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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