and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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