From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't deserve a penis
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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