I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
