He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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