THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
