I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
