we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
