i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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