I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
