we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
