Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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