Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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