Where did you get a picture of my penis
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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