I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
pray to the hookup gods
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
