She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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