sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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