We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
