How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
