also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
