White coat. Heels.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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