i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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