Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
