I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
