If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
