You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My vagina is officially offended.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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