Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize