I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
