You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
