Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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