His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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