i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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