My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
