ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
