Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize