gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
