never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
