I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
