Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
