Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i love accidental penises.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
