We won't sleep together?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
