from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
4 words: hood of his car
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
