My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
