I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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