Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
