Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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