you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
