She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize