areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
