I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
