can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
