I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
