I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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