my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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